I Still Believe July 8, 2009

Have you ever felt like you were stuck in a nightmare and you can’t wake up? Have you ever finally stop dreaming and wake up to face reality head on? Well friend, I think I’m there. The ”American Dream” is not for everyone and I think I’m in that category.  It’s not the most comfortable place to be but what do you do when you’re there. Well you have two choices: 1. You can choose to “still believe” and keep trucking at life or 2. You can choose to give up all together and throw in the towel.

All my life I have been the dreamer, the one to “aim high to gain high”, the one to take on what seems to be the impossible and try to make it possible. And the majority of the time I’ve been to one to be majorly disappointed, shake the dust off my clothes and try to move on, smile when my heart is breaking and tell God about it. Yes, you read that correctly, “Tell God About It.”  All the time that is the best I can do- Tell God About It. There is an old hymn my mom sang whenever she felt defeated of discouraged. The chorus goes “I must tell Jesus, I must tell Jesus, I cannot bear these burdens alone. I must tell Jesus, I must tell Jesus, Jesus can help me, Jesus alone.”

I don’t know about you but often when life hits me with something unexpected I go for the phone first rather before the throne. And there’s where the problem lies. God can handle any and all things. People can handle as much as their ability will allow them and/or only if they want to handle such a task.  So why burden others? Yes, burden your brothers and sisters to prayer for you but be sure to burden God because ultimately only Him alone can help you. I mean, who do we believe? The god that listens and say “uh-huh!, oh, I’m so sorry to hear about that,” or The God who delivered a people from bondage, divided the red sea, turn bitter water into sweet, send manna and quail from the sky, take out an entire nation, with stand the shame and mockery of others, shed His blood on a tree for man, gained victory over sin and death, is returning on day for His people. This is our God.

I’m still standing at the red sea, waiting for it to be divided and even though it’s not being divided quick enough, I Still Believe- In God’s power, will and might, that is.

Summer 2009 (2) June 27, 2009

So, I’m still waiting and trusting.  A letter did come in the mail but it stated that I have been approved for my Permanent Resident status. However, my documentation was mailed to me. I have not received it. In order to get a duplicate , I have to pay Immigration a large sum of money and they can’t guarantee that I’ll receive it soon. What a money making hassle. How do people do these things illegally and get away with it, beats me. I don’t regret doing the right thing, but it sure is messed up when you are a Permanent Resident and you have no documentation to show for it. My next step is to attempt to get a little help from a Senator or Congressman. My prayer is that God will work through them. Is God bigger than Immigration? Yes HE IS… Is it possible for God to work it all out? Yes IT IS (if He wants to). Am I losing hope and trust in the Lord? I’m trying not to, but if I do then I’ll be a walking mess. Monday maybe the day of judgement. Monday will determine what Summer 2009 looks likes for me.

Summer 2009 June 24, 2009

Well friends,

Usually this time of the year I’m off meeting and serving on a Centrifuge Camp Staff with brothers and sisters the Lord graciously allowed me to cross paths with, and live life with for the summer. I had the opportunity of serving 1 week of camp at Ridgecrest, NC and had a BLAST!!!, looking forward to opportunity to love on and minister to a Staff at Jenness Park.  But now the Lord has me in a place where I must wait, and have no idea what will happen next. Literally, I’m living one day at time.

You see, right now I’m suppose to be in San Francisco, CA meeting and planning for camp in Jenness Park with the Leadership team. Presently, I’m in Louisville, trying to patiently wait on immigration. I’m trying my best to have a great attitude and to trust in the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob; the Lord who made the heavens and the earth and knows me by name, the Great I AM. I have spent my day, crying, praying, seeking and asking “what are you trying to teach me, Lord?”. As I look over the Camp Bible Study Material for this year, and review Journey of Moses and the Israelites, the day to day themes are hitting me hard- Faith to Let Go; Faith to take a Stand, Faith to go into the Unknown, Faith to Wait and Faith to the Fullest. I often act like the Israelites revisiting my “what ifs” and worry. Then there are times I’m like Moses, crying out to God for Deliverance and His intervention. But I keep having to remind myself that God is in control, He sees the big picture. He has a perfect plan that He is leading me to. I just have to keep seeking Him, waiting and be silent. Immigrations is my Red Sea right now, will the Lord part it and allow me cross, or will He have me go around? Or is it my wilderness where I wander for many days passing and failing lessons? What will be my manner and quail, my long awaited green card, more wait and have faith time or Hello lovely Trinidad? Whatever it maybe, I have no idea but I’m trying my hardest to trust the God of the Past, Present and Future. The Great I AM.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, You are with me. My help comes from the Lord who made the heavens and the earth.” I’ll keep you posted.

It’s been a while May 3, 2009

So I’ve just realized that my last post was August 2008, after I returned from Centrifuge Camp. Life has not been the same since. The Lord has definitely used circumstances in my life make me aware of sin in my life, humble me before Himself and others, mold and shape me in the image of Christ and give me hope. Only a Holy Sovereign God can do such a thing. Though hard, beautiful.

1. Severe Rheumatoid Arthritis- I was diagnosed in October with Severe Rheumatoid Arthritis. Due to the courage and love of some friends (like family) in my life confronting me on issues that needed to be taken care of, my visit and news from an Internist was hard to hear but saved me from further physical harm. Though everything is under control,  (through medicine) and I can live a hopeful life that this is treatable, I know that I can never return to that physical state again. I need to care for the temple that the Lord has so graciously given me.

2. Seeking help when help is needed- I don’t know about you, but pride is my worst enemy and battle. I strongly dislike showing signs of weakness, I strongly dislike failing, I strongly dislike not being perfect or not having everything together. But as all the above statements begin with “I”, God has shown me, that I am His and everything I do in life needs to be about Him. It’s all contrary to what His word says- “In our weakness, He is made strong,” Christ is the only one who’s perfect, however, we are made perfect by Him, in Him and through Him, at life we’ll fail but in Christ we’ll succeed. God has broken me through His word, people He has brought into my life and removing the very things I cling to for comfort, security and find my identity in. In breaking me, He has shown me what the body of Christ really is, and my role in the body. He has brought me to a place where I totally depend on Him and I allow others to edify me (by me being authentic) and I edify them. And not be afraid to say “I’m struggling, God, help me, brother and sister in Christ, please pray for me.”

3. The Importance of His Word- Ps. 119 states- “Your Word is a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path, I have hidden it in my heart that I would not sin again You.” Only God’s Word can show us right from wrong, only God’s Word can protect us from the enemy’s lies and attack, and through God’s Word the Holy Spirit can convict us. To often I find the time to read good, solid, Christian literature (not bad), but too often I allow it to replace the Word of God.

4. Trusting God with what’s to come- Still a work in process. However, there’s a reason why in Matthew Jesus tells us “do not worry about tomorrow.” The planner in my gets obsessed in worrying and wanting to know what the future holds. In the process I miss out on the blessings of the present day and the preparation for what is to come. I need to constantly remind myself, do not be anxious about anything but in everything, through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, present my request to the Lord.

I praise the Lord for friends calling me out and holding me accountable, the lessons He has taught me, is teaching me and lessons to come, and for Him breaking me so that I can be made more like Christ.

Until next time, Soli deo Gloria.

Summer of 2008 August 24, 2008

“What are you doing this summer?” “Why do you leave for the summer?” “What is it about summer camp that keeps drawing you back for more?” “Again?” These questions and more are repetitive each year right around, ahhh… let’s say March/April. So after a fantabulous summer 2008. I decided to let you in to some summer secrets. Nothing shady, just things that keep me going back for more. Grab a drink, and a snack.  This is going to be good.

    So I all starts with a call from a co-ordinator in Nashville, “Jan Harriott, My name is … and I will be happy to have you be a part of the Centrifuge Carson Newman Team. You will serve as the Development Director a.k.a DD and teach the Resource Track and For Girls Only Varsity (FGOV) Track.” I always look forward to that call around October, November. The Christmas rolls around, enjoy the festivities, January hits hard enjoy New Years and BAM! It’s a new year and I’m excited about camp. The moment I get the call and accept the job, I begin praying for my team but the moment I start getting names and info. about camp the specifics during prayer time hits.

     Then we start getting stuff in the mail, which spurs on the excitement March hits. March is the month when preparation for DD training begins. Start pulling the commentaries and other sources that can help prep. you for Bible Study training also you start thinking about staff office decorations, staff development activities and just fun stuff & ways to encourage your staff. Before you know it, it’s April and you have one weekend where you drive to Nashville, meet up with the DDs for other Fuge camps, co-ordinators (your boss) and you do some intense heavy Bible Study training. This entire weekend is like putting your foot on the gas pedel and never taking it off until you get to your destination, however, it is a fun time as well. Don’t believe me? Here are some pics of proof.

    Then there is the torture of returning home but returning with some many ideas you just get started on camp. Between then and going off to the grand Fuge Reunion- Training week” you shop, well I do, try to spend as much time with dear friends as possible, say your good byes for the summer and you are off. Evidence? Provided.

     Still not at camp but more training and some reunion with people from previous teams like former  favorite fuge roomies ever.  After that it’s off to camp. FINALLY YEAH!!!

    So the Leadership team gets to camp, and we start setting up for the rest of the team. I like this because I get to put together goodie bags, name plates, decorate the staff office, and other surprises. All this takes 2 days. Then the rest of the team come together. We train for 2 weeks. Then camp begins. From then on it LIFE CHANGE  at it’s in the staff, youth leaders and sponsors, students even Carson Newman Staff themselves. I can tell stories upon stories of how God worked this summer but I’ll sum it all up to this…

The Lord is might to save and strong to deliever. I watch student come to camp with a open, blatant hard heart. Openly admitting that they don’t have God and they don’t want God. And I watch God change that in a made of 2 days. All I can say was but God wants you. I watch my staff labor hard, endure much and do most things without complaining, running on low sleep, energy, sometimes low immune systems and then watch God give them what they need to accomplish His work and do amazing things in and through them. I watch relationships with parents rekindle and students accept the call to ministry, serve the homeless and all I can do and say is Lord Blessed Be Your Name. When David Crowder sings “Here is Our King” oh! I know exactly what he mean. Because that’s Jesus for ya!

  So when people ask “why do you go back for more?” I really seriously can’t explain it but all I can say in the end is “That’s Jesus for ya!- might to save and strong to deliever.

Resolving the chord… stay tune for more…

I asked God for a sister a long time ago… and He gave me 2- 9yrs later April 29, 2008

Mom got us new PJs

We love to look cute any and everywhere- the movies, the bowling alley

We particularly love it when our brother comes home from college. 

So March was the month of MADNESS for me. Seriously, only God and God alone could have worked things out the way they were worked out. After having countless unfortunate circumsatnces at my apartment, I finally got to the straw that broke the camel’s back, and flee for the sake of my safety.

I praise God for Parents and sibling away from home. I praise God for the Mayfields and for their graciousness. Currently, I reside with this amazing family, Mom- Pamela and Dad Nathan. Each day while praising God for them I look forward to good laughs, and much encouragement (dancing with the stars, american idol (oh! yeah, celebrating my 26th Birthday with all of Louisville). Each night I go to bed feeling SAFE, PROTECTED and thrilled to be apart of such a Godly, fun loving, loving family.

But the best of this experience is Jessica Marie Mayfield and Victoria Lynn Mayfield, my little sisters. I totally am thrilled to have two precious, outstanding girls as my sisters. I look forward to picking them up from school, hearing about their day, having great adventures (shopping, movies, dance parties, reading). Now they’re not perfect, they are teenagers, but they are my sisters that I asked God for 9 yrs ago. It may seem a little late to some but I say “better late than never.” Now I can’t end this without mentioning my brother Paul (currently at college). He continues to make us all proud. A great example of a young Christian man, pursing Christ (at his fullest), away from home, at a secular college. As always I try to resolve the chord; I asked God for a sister a long time ago… and He gave me two and a younger brother, nine years later.

What in the World!!! March 10, 2008

So here’s the scoop…

I left Louisville, KY to go do some business (fun business) in NC. When I left, it was nice and clear, spring seemed to have sprung, the sun was shining, and I was singing that reggae favorite “I can see clearly now the rain (oops I mean) snow is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way”… dah dah dah dah dah, it’s gonna be a bright (bgv- BRIGHT) bright (bvg- BRIGHT) sun shinny day- you get the picture. It was raining (not men) like crazy in NC but by God’s grace my team and I were able to accomplish everything we were set out to do (in the unanticipated rain)…

Permission to Pause and side track…

There is room in this world for the diligent, overachieving, hard working perfectionist a.k.a DOHP. This weekend proved it. When there is work to be done, you can call on a DOHP and guarantee that the work will be done, and will be done well.

Back to the original story…

By the end of the weekend we had a blast, and agreed this was the best short encounter we ever had, and we will keep each other in our wallets (notice I didn’t say back pocket- things tend to fall out and be forgotten there). Well, in the midst of the weather, I was determined to make it to Louisville on time for our newly scheduled church service. All this time I was thinking “It can’t be that bad.” The truth is it was WORST, I just didn’t know it. As my aircraft (allow me to say Southwest it the Best) prepared for a perfect landing, and I look outside my window, to my surprise it seemed as though someone had taken a white blanket and covered Louisville. All I can think was “what in the world!!! who is responsible for this white mess?” Not even half the battle… I got out to my car and it was covered. I mean over, under, around, praise God not through. Apparently, the person responsible for plowing the airport parking lot forgot I was Trinidadian, a girl and coming back, he plowed as much snow possible into my car. Poor cutie (my phone) didn’t have enough battery power to capture the moment. At that moment I thought, “when outside is white and your car’s out of site, who you’re gonna call (AAA) Triple A.”And they were there shovel and all. I think every single girl needs Triple A. Three lessons from this weekend’s extravaganza:

1) Look at www.accuweather.com the day before you leave for a trip

2) Triple A and I are BFFs

3) If you are a DOHP like me, don’t be hard on yourself, and never mind when others make fun of you. Keep it contain (because not many are trained to handle and appreciate DOHPs) and be FIERCE

I choose to resolve the chord like this: I dedicate this blog to team XF NC- all 39 of you ROCKED MY FACE OFF, and a dear Diva Agent (who kept me in the know, in my absence.)

Stay tune for the update on my date with Michael Buble- this Friday….

GOG was great and God is great February 26, 2008

The Girls at the Girls Of Grace (GOG) Conference. It was a blast!

One word to describe this weekend is FIERCE. Have had a heart and passion to do something, and it just seems as though it’s not working out or it may not workout? You might be thinking, “Jan, I’m right there now.” My response to you is I was there, and in some ways still there. However, this weekend was a weekend of affirmation and confirmation for myself and my Diva in crime, Agent Peepers. You see, this weekend the Lord had something amazing in store for us that we did not see coming, until God thought the time was right. Agent Peepers had the amazing opportunity to affirm a group of ladies in the area of discipleship. (Side note- If you are looking for someone to train your group of women in discipleship and mentoring, let me know I have the perfect person for you). Even though I had my own agenda the Lord gave me time to lift her up in prayer. On the other end, I was taking a group of teenage girls from my church to the Girls of Grace: How to live simulcast in Owensboro. Even though Agent Peepers had her own agenda, God again allowed time for her to pray for us.

By now many of you have read my “About Me” section, and know where my heart lies. And it’s been a struggle for a while. But this weekend seeing and hearing Point of Grace and friends speak truth into the lives of teenage girls, across the US, Mexico, Bahamas and Canada, reminded me of Isaiah 41:10 “Do not be discourage, do not be dismay, I am the Lord your God and my right hand upholds you.” See, Girls’ Ministry is much needed in this day and age. I am an example of the product of Titus 2- not married yet though. But I have had the blessed opportunity of  having older, wiser, godly women pour into my life (mother included) and help mold me into who I am today. The Lord through this weekend reminded me of that. The need for this generation to have people walk beside them, and speak truth in their lives. So, was GOG fun? Not just fun it was GREAT. These four vocally talented women (Point of Grace) used their platform to give a younger generation hope, and to encourage people like myself to “wait on the Lord” for His greater plan. But while we wait, be a Titus 2 woman. Isn’t God Great? God is great, and his timing is absolutely perfect. For those of you waiting on the Lord to give you the opportunity to fulfill the desires He has placed on your heart, don’t be discourage. In due time He will raise you up. In the mean while, serve in your church, and like Spurgeon, serve and fully commit, that is what God requires of you in this season of your life. I’m there to. But praise God for the local church where our talents cannot and should not be wasted. “Blessed is the man who trusts the LORD, and whose trust is the LORD…” Jeremiah 17:7

Is February Considered Winter? February 14, 2008

By the looks of the past few days, February is still considered winter- Oh DEAR!. Ask me? I felt like we had a blizzard the past couple of days. Thank God for triple A (AAA) I was able to get into my car, and get all that snow and ice off my car. But also thank God for such a season like this where when I look outside and I literally think, and be thankful that the blood of Jesus washes us white as snow (hallelujah- Amen). Needless to say this Trinidadian was not complaining anymore. But in the same breath “O Come thou Spring, come and cheer.”

So other than freezing in the lovely Louisville, the Lord has been gracious to me. February has ring in a heart of praise. God has blessed me with a godly woman (whom I will leave unnamed- because she doesn’t know I writing about her) to disciple me, and hold me accountable to the pursuit of holiness. Even though we’ve meet once, day after day her words of wisdom and reminder of the truth of God’s Word rings in my mind and heart. Can’t wait for more. What a blessing to have Titus 2 women in our lives. What a blessing to practice principles I’m trying to teach the girls in my youth (especially my 7th graders).  God has blessed me with amazing friends (let’s call them Diva Agent Peepers and Diva Agent Crimson- if you’re lost don’t loose sleep over it, just roll with me). Friends to make me laugh so hard, I laugh on for days. Friends to show and remind me what true friendship is. Friends that listen, and are not afraid to respond (even when I need to eat some humble pie- which is actually not bad). God has blessed me with a FANTABULOUS church. This month is the month of financial accountability. We need to be reminder that we have to be stewards of the resources God has blessed us with. I’ll be honest, sometimes when my pastor says “In America…” I feel like saying, “Pardon me Sir, you mean in this WORLD.” It may not be credit card debt but everyone has debt- but I know what he means. And then God has blessed me with the amazing opportunity to serve the girls in our Student Ministry. Oh! how I love those precious gems. That’s where my heart beats. I don’t know where next the Lord is taking me, and how He’s going to use my heart and passion for Girls’ Ministry. But for now I’m content where I am, and I’m excited to see more grow, and more of God’s Glory in the lives that surround me . Allow me to resolve this chord “O for a thousand tongues to sing, my great Redeemer’s praise.” Until next time live a little, laugh a lot, and love, even when you don’t feel like it

Something new for me and you February 1, 2008

So I’ve gotten alot of hints from people that I should trying blogging. “Why? What in the world would I have to say that you don’t hear me say?” was my response. Then it hit me… this would be an amazing way for my family and friends (near and far- Trinidad especially) to stay connected with what’s taking place in my life. All this to say, I’m going to give blogging a try. This is how I’ll roll… on here I’ll post ways in which the Lord is growing me, and things He is teaching me. I’ll also include updates on the ministries I’m a part of, and the ways in which the Lord is working. Last but certainly not least, little ‘bits and pieces’ of fun adventures in the life of your amazing Trinidadian- Heber- Jan Rachel Harriott (me ). So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Americans and non Americans, stay tune, bear with me. There will be good times and great times but most importantly I hope you will be blessed, encouraged and laughing really hard when you’re done (most of the time anyway).  Until next time SHIMMY?