So I’ve just realized that my last post was August 2008, after I returned from Centrifuge Camp. Life has not been the same since. The Lord has definitely used circumstances in my life make me aware of sin in my life, humble me before Himself and others, mold and shape me in the image of Christ and give me hope. Only a Holy Sovereign God can do such a thing. Though hard, beautiful.
1. Severe Rheumatoid Arthritis– I was diagnosed in October with Severe Rheumatoid Arthritis. Due to the courage and love of some friends (like family) in my life confronting me on issues that needed to be taken care of, my visit and news from an Internist was hard to hear but saved me from further physical harm. Though everything is under control, (through medicine) and I can live a hopeful life that this is treatable, I know that I can never return to that physical state again. I need to care for the temple that the Lord has so graciously given me.
2. Seeking help when help is needed– I don’t know about you, but pride is my worst enemy and battle. I strongly dislike showing signs of weakness, I strongly dislike failing, I strongly dislike not being perfect or not having everything together. But as all the above statements begin with “I”, God has shown me, that I am His and everything I do in life needs to be about Him. It’s all contrary to what His word says- “In our weakness, He is made strong,” Christ is the only one who’s perfect, however, we are made perfect by Him, in Him and through Him, at life we’ll fail but in Christ we’ll succeed. God has broken me through His word, people He has brought into my life and removing the very things I cling to for comfort, security and find my identity in. In breaking me, He has shown me what the body of Christ really is, and my role in the body. He has brought me to a place where I totally depend on Him and I allow others to edify me (by me being authentic) and I edify them. And not be afraid to say “I’m struggling, God, help me, brother and sister in Christ, please pray for me.”
3. The Importance of His Word– Ps. 119 states- “Your Word is a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path, I have hidden it in my heart that I would not sin again You.” Only God’s Word can show us right from wrong, only God’s Word can protect us from the enemy’s lies and attack, and through God’s Word the Holy Spirit can convict us. To often I find the time to read good, solid, Christian literature (not bad), but too often I allow it to replace the Word of God.
4. Trusting God with what’s to come– Still a work in process. However, there’s a reason why in Matthew Jesus tells us “do not worry about tomorrow.” The planner in my gets obsessed in worrying and wanting to know what the future holds. In the process I miss out on the blessings of the present day and the preparation for what is to come. I need to constantly remind myself, do not be anxious about anything but in everything, through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, present my request to the Lord.
I praise the Lord for friends calling me out and holding me accountable, the lessons He has taught me, is teaching me and lessons to come, and for Him breaking me so that I can be made more like Christ.
Until next time, Soli deo Gloria.